Secret Feelings I had for you
by Midnight City
Summary: I loved her but I couldn't admit it to her because I was afraid she loves me as a friend...I was too late when I found out....


Since you guys are waiting for my land of dreams story I thought I would entertain you with a romance/angst one shot…. lots of heart breaking moments, teary eyed parts and when someone dies…. SasuSaku, one shot, Character death

Don't own Naruto…

Notes…

-Please for your own good, tissues are a must and ice cream too…

-All in Sasuke's POV

-To be honest Sasuke is a very hard person to write about…

-Takes place all over the place! First part before Sasuke left Konoha and after he left Kohona and a few years later…. confusing eh?

-Slight OOC (I'm sorry)

-What should have happened in episode 119…

-Why OOC…. it's set a few years from now…

-Or whatever…

-Need I say more?

I wish I knew why…

What can I say about an annoying girl who was placed to be on my team?

…Well not much is heard from me but there were some good points about her…like the way she looks at me, or when she's crying about my injuries or whatever but there was one thing that I liked about…

Her smile

Her smile can always brighten someone's day up. I hated to admit it but her smile can brighten my days up as well.

She was my teammate along with the dobe. At first I thought she was just an annoying fangirl who just wanted me for my looks or power but as days and weeks progressed I slowly accepted the fact that wasn't just an ordinary fangirl but a friend in the making.

I still remember that day in the forest of death. It was during the chuunin exams and Orochimaru attacked our team. I was bitten with the cursed seal. Naruto was also attacked and both of us were knocked out. Sakura was the only one who protected us. She fought off the Sound Nins just to protect us. My cursed seal activated when I saw Sakura beaten up and hurt. She was also the only one to calm me down as well. It was a memory I couldn't forget.

There was something about her that makes me attracted to her. Was it her smile? Her emerald eyes? Or something else? Either way I was attracted to her. She was like an exotic flower standing out among common flowers. Back then I ignored her no matter what she said to me. But now I feel so attracted to her. I wanted to be her near her no matter what. Protect her at all costs even if I have to sacrifice my life for her.

The cherry blossom tree was her favorite hangout. Everytime we finished training with Kakashi-sensei she would sit under the tree. Pink petals floating in the sky and gently landing on the ground. It was like she belonged there. Her pink hair fluttering around gently as she sat under the tree's shade admiring the day. One day she caught me passing by and invited me to join. At first I didn't want to but I couldn't resist her emerald green eyes giving me the wounded puppy look. I sighed and joined her. She was sitting on a branch in which to my surprise, could support us.

Sakura talked about her dreams, Dreams of being a Kunoichi that would be respected and honored. She also wanted to be strong so that she can protect her friends instead of us protecting her. She knows that my dream was to kill Itachi and revive my clan. She never laughs or pursuits about them. It made me like her even more.

As the year flew by, I noticed my feelings for her towards her are slowly changing. I tried to shrug it off and ignore them but then I started thinking of her at nighttime, Dreaming of her and having this feeling of being with her all the time. It was strange feeling but a good one. When Sakura touched me, a tingling sensation just came to me. There was a time when we were at the usual cherry blossom and Sakura lost her balance on the branch. I managed to grab her hand before she could even land. For the moment, I had the feeling of not wanting to let go. I wanted that moment to continue hoping it would never end, just wanting to hold her and protect her. I pulled her up to safety and she apologized a million times. I had no reason to get angry at her. She just slipped on a branch. What harm could it do? "It's okay," I said to her. It was then and there I realized I have slowly fallen in love with her…

There were many times I tried to deny the feeling I had for her for I was afraid…yes afraid…I, an Uchiha am afraid. Afraid what would happen if I told her how I feel? I thought it would take advantage of the blooming friendship that had started so I kept it to myself

All of us are now teenagers and I noticed how Sakura gotten lovelier each day. Her short pink grew slightly and I noticed when I walk past her many Male shinobi crowding around her giving Sakura compliments and sometimes, small gifts. I wanted to knock them out or use my Chidori on them but I had no right to. Sakura deserved so much I can only stand on the sidelines and watch. There were so many things I wanted to tell her but then I could not tell her I feel about her. I was afraid she would accept me as a friend. I was also afraid of letting her know how I feel about her as much as losing her.

The day that broke my heart was when I learned Sakura already had someone. It was actually the guy who bumped into the dobe whose disgusting lips went into my lips and…. kissed me. His name was Miharu Kenta. I thought this was some joke from the dobe but when I saw Sakura with him I felt as thought I was hit by a thousand of Kunais stabbing at my heart. When I saw her walking with Kenta one day after practice, I watched her along with my heart slowing breaking into pieces. I saw heard her calling my name but I pretended not to hear afraid of what Sakura would think when she saw the pain in my eyes, Pain of seeing her with someone else. Those days were the saddest days of my life. When we see each other during training she would try and talk to me but I acted like my old self and ignored. Sometimes I would see tears in her eyes crying for me to come and talk to her but I simply left her crying by herself. I wanted to hold her and comfort her but I didn't want her to know I was in pain.

Then the day when they broke up, I was training to become stronger. She was running towards me crying on my shoulder telling me they broke up. Fortunately they were in a fight and they broke it up. I felt as though a wave of relief washed all over me plus a second chance to tell her how I felt but I felt angry that Sakura was wasting her tears for someone like that damn Miharu guy and that he dumped her for someone so gentle. At that time I didn't know what to do.

We were back to our usual routine talking about our dreams and such.

There were so many chances I had but never took them because I was still afraid of what Sakura would say.

"Sasuke-Kun?"

"Hm?"

"Are you going to the festival?"

"What Festival?"

"The festival that Hokage-sama announced a week ago"

"Oh"

"Whom are you going with?"

"No one"

"Really…. Because…uh…I thought…uh…."

"Sure"

"Really? But are you sure?"

"Sure. I have nothing to do for that night" I lied. I was supposed to train for that night but I could I resist her?

Sakura eyes lit up. She then came closer towards me and kissed me on the cheek. I felt heat was creeping upon my face and a blush was forming. I saw Sakura's head bowed down and her cheeks formed a light pink.

The night of the festival came and I was at her front door waiting for Sakura. As she stood in front of me I was stunned. She was the most beautiful girl I've even seen in my life. Dressed in a white Kimono with pink cherry blossoms and her hair loose…She just looked simple, beautiful and stunning. She smiled at me as the two of us left for the streets.

I've never seen the streets this festive before. Gone were the ninja clothes and replaced with Kimonos. As we walked together I saw glares from those annoying fangirls. I paid no attention to them but I kept my eye on Sakura. I've also noticed many glares going right towards me, which must some of Sakura's admirers. I've seen a small dance floor. Light soft music playing and couples dancing

"Sasuke-Kun? Would…um…l-like t-to dance?"

"Fine" (I know but bear with me….)

I guided Sakura to the dance floor. I placed my hands on her waist and Sakura's hands arms around my neck and rested her head on my shoulder. Neither one of us spoke a word. She looked beautiful. The wind was gently playing with her hair and how looked like an angel in the moonlight. I felt all the feelings rushing through me. I thought this was the perfect time to admit how I felt towards her but something held me back. What if she doesn't accept my feelings towards her? What if there were some feelings she had for that bastard Miharu? I took a deep breath and bent down to whisper in her ear to tell I loved her but the music stopped. We both stopped and we both let go of each other. Sakura looked at me and then she left. I mentally whacked myself for not waiting any longer.

An hour passed and Sakura wasn't around. I decided to look for her. As I searched for her I reached the bridge of where our team meets. There I saw two silhouettes outlined in the moonlight. I couldn't describe the feeling but I recognized the white kimono was wearing. I just turned and left

Since that night I avoided her. Many times she was pleading me to talk to her. I was afraid she loved That Bastard (aka Miharu) and not me. I'd rather be alone with my true feelings than to hear those dreaded words and have my hopes crushed. After training she would try to talk to me and I would leave another direction. It also hurts to do those things but then I thought it was the only way to forget her. Those weeks were torturing but I kept my head up.

I wanted more power. The time had come, the time to leave Kohona to go to Orochimaru for power, enough to kill my bastard of a brother. As soon as nightfall came, I packed my belongings and went straight for the gates of Kohona. As soon as I got there, there was someone in my way. Sakura was there! I was surprised and angered by this. She approached me and gave me a rose. I felt my anger disappear by this moment. As she handed me the rose the look in her eyes as she stared at me were different I couldn't describe. Her eye didn't have her usual loom and when she smiled at me it was the same as well. I wanted to hold her, tell I loved her before I left but then she turned and left.

The next day I was training with Orochimaru. I concentrated on my trainings but I think of her at night. I always wonder if she ever thinks of me as well. I tried to forget about her but I couldn't stop myself from loving her. Each achievement I have done was for her. I thought that if I were successful enough, I would go back to Kohona, go to her and tell her that I love her. By that time I would be worthy of her.

Five years late I did it all. I kill my brother to avenge my family, and also I killed Orochimaru and destroyed the hidden sound village. I thought five years were too long. Normally I thought it would take me two or three years to finish my goals but it had to be five. I went to Kohona to see her again and as soon as I got there Kakashi-sensei was there.

"Kakashi-sensei…"

"Sasuke"

"Where's Sakura?"

As soon I said those two words Kakashi-sensei gave me a sad look.

"Follow me" I followed him to the same tree. I was confused of where he was leading me. It was there I realized he was taking me to the tree. The tree where I spent my days with her and when she kissed me when I agreed to go with her to the festival. I smiled a bit at that memory. Maybe she was already there waiting for me. "There she is" Kakashi-sensei said quietly

I looked at where Kakashi was pointing. A tomb with the name of the girl I once loved was now lying there. I desperately convinced myself this was a nightmare and when I wake up it would all be over.

I looked at Kakashi-sensei for answers. Kakashi-sensei avoided my eyes and slowly started saying, "She died two years ago to a heart disease, even though she was sick she never stopped thinking about you Sasuke, It was even your name she said before she died. She asked us to bury here because she always regarded this place of dreams. She also said that this place was where she spent her happiest days here with her. She asked me to give this to you" Kakashi-sensei handed me an old scroll and left.

With shaky hands I slowed ripped the scroll open. It was dated on march 27 two years ago. The day before her birthday...

_Sasuke-kun_

_By the time you read this letter I might still live or probably… I'll be gone from you. I just wanted to tell you I was lucky to have you as a teammate and a friend. I also want you to know something I have hidden from you. Something I kept from you for a long time. I love you Sasuke-kun. Not as a friend or as a brother but someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. Yes I love you. I love you not becauseof your looks, or your skills or because you're an Uchiha. I loved you for who you are. Heck I even loved you from the beginning of when our team was formed. I guess it bloomed each day when I was with you. That's why the happiest days in my life as when you were with me. You don't know that I dreamed of you at nighttime and wake up in the morning dreaming of you no more for you are with me. When you left for Orochimaru, I can't stop crying because I always thought you found another girl. I couldn't bear myself to see you with someone else. I may sound selfish but this is how I felt for you._

_When you protect me from harm was like a dream come true. There were so many things I did so that you will learn to love me but I never saw a hint. I did everything to make you happy because I love you so much that I tried to tell myself that you loved me too. So many nights I cried when I think of myself being unloved by you. You might think this is worthless but this is the truth for you see I can't lie to someone I care for._

_You might think of Kenta-kun but I just did it to make you jealous. I know it was foolish of me but it's true. I wanted you to see my as a young woman and not the weak girl I was. Kenta even agreed to help me. I told him I loved you so much he understood. When I broke up with Kenta and I ran to you crying, I just did it so I wanted to know how you would react to it and I'll know that you love me too but I never saw a sign. When the festival came, you don't know how you made me happy. When we were dancing I wanted to hear desperately if you loved me too but I never heard anything. When Kenta asked me if something was wrong I talked to him. I was scared that you would know so we talked in private. I explained the whole explanation to him. What happened next was that you were gone and I found out that you were looking for me. The next day you avoided me so I just concluded you saw us together. The next day I tried to explain to you what had happened but you never gave me a chance. You continued to avoid me and it was hurting me and never knew the pain inside. When you about to leave Kohona, I wanted to tell you I loved you before you left but I was afraid that you loved me like a sister. So I just left…_

_I know that maybe If I live, I want you to know I love you. No matter what….if the pain comes and comes, I would still love you…for you Sasuke…are my other half. The half I can't live without. If I didn't survive I want you to know that I'll be with you no matter what because I love you_

_Say… if we each other again how about we go to ichiraku? Just the two of us?_

_Haruno Sakura_

I clenched the letter as I looked up towards the sky. Sakura did love me. I felt satisfied but I was too late to tell her how I felt before she was gone. The clouds were forming and rain poured in…I kneeled down the touch the tombstone

"SAKURA!" I shouted to the world. "I love you" I whispered. Tears came to my eyes and flowed in…

MN: That was so sad…REVIEW!


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